2016 has had some pretty great films, though most have been rather disappointing or just didn't live up to all the hype and today, we will look at those films. These lists will be going by film genre, with my favorite being up to bat first: Horror.
Horror films are usually always a hit-or-miss scenario but there are usually more good than bad despite the common beliefs among the general public. However, we're saving those good films for another list, so don't expect them here. Without further ado, let us begin:
THE BOY ((Final Grade: C-))
At the bottom of the list is 'The Boy' and while the film is far from a complete disaster, as we'll see those in a moment it still deserves to be here because it just...exists and really nothing more. The film is so bland, generic, and sterile as far as horror goes that I almost forgot about it until writing up this list. These boring horror films get theatrical releases and films like 'HUSH' only go to Netflix? Utter nonsense and really good evidence that creative works or at least competent works are not what studios want apparently.
PRIDE & PREJUDICE & ZOMBIES ((Final Grade: D+))
Another on the list that is not on here for its quality really, but rather it just being forgettable. I personally was a big fan of the novel and looked forward to the film adaptation, however when news of re-shoots, re-writes, and delays hit the web I knew the film was doomed. What audiences ended up with was another 'World War Z': a film that took great source material and toned it down into a PG-13 action film with no horror, suspense, or even good zombie makeup. In the attempt to water down a novel to spoonfeed the audience, Sony Pictures gave themselves a big red dot on their profits for 2016.
THE FOREST ((Final Grade: F))
Now we're getting into the really bad stuff. 'The Forest' is probably the most boring horror film I have ever seen in my life. This film never gets off the ground and can't seem to decide what exactly it wants to be. It constantly mixes horror cliches with zero positive results, leading to a frustrating film that made me want to pull my hair out. Even the title to this film is boring. How many films are named 'The Forest'? or 'The Woods'? Please stop calling movies that and please make this film fade from my memory.
THE DARKNESS ((Final Grade: F))
Hey, another boring movie that almost made me fall asleep in the theater. What makes 'The Darkness' beat 'The Forest' however is the film is so incompetent in terms of filmmaking. The special effects are laughable, the acting is poor (despite the great casting), the technical parts are even bad. Greg McClean is so much better than this, Kevin Bacon is better than this. What the heck happened with 'The Darkness'?
MARTYRS ((Final Grade: D-))
While the 2016 remake of the french film 'Martyrs' gets a higher grade from me than the previous two, it outranks them because of one simple factor: It's a remake. 'Martyrs' was remade for no other reason than people do not wish to read subtitles during a movie, and refused to watch the original french film. That is one of the most asinine reasons for not wanting to see a movie I have ever heard. This remake is competent, although it lacks the shock of the original as it holds back way more than it should have if it even wanted to be in the shadow of the original film. It's just another remake that no one needed and a bad film is nowhere near as bad as a pointless one.
CABIN FEVER (2016) ((Final Grade: F))
This is ridiculous. They remade a film that is only from 2003, and on top of that they remade a film that wasn't great in the first place. They're going to remake a movie that's only a few months old eventually, just look out for it. I always thought the original concept for 'Cabin Fever' was a great idea to build a film around, however Eli Roth and this new version spend more time on completely pointless scenes of weird, crude, and completely despicable people that we don't give a shit about at all! What a waste of time.
THE OTHER SIDE OF THE DOOR ((Final Grade: F))
What the hell was this movie? It came to a movie theater two hours away from me, but for some reason I took the plunge and sat down and watched it. I should have stayed home. Cliche stories aside, this film felt like something I would have made in film class not a professional high budget horror film from 20th Century Fox. Not to mention, the film is rather racist and insensitive to the spiritual beliefs of India (They thought 'Temple of Doom' was worse than this?) and overall the film is just a rip off of so many better films (Pet Sematary came to mind while sitting in the dark). Skip it.
CELL ((Final Grade: F-))
This movie is awful. I have seen better direct to video movies from the 90's that entertained me more than 'Cell'. This one bummed me out so much because I actually love the Stephen King novel on which it's based and hoped for at least a average film but there's no forgiving this one. A complete chore to sit through and one that makes you feel worse knowing the talented actors in it could do so much better. 'Cell' by far is the worst horror film I've seen in 2016.
Check back later for some more lists and mini-reviews, as well as our reviews of 'NERVE' and 'LIGHTS OUT'.
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