Friday The 13th Films (The Worst To First) (2016 Edition)

 Friday The 13th is my favorite horror franchise of all time. As much influence as 'Halloween' or 'Nightmare on Elm Street' have had on my imagination and my short films, somehow I will always take that trip to Crystal Lake first. I think the appeal of these films are how quick you can scroll through them and just have some great fun with your friends for a night. That is why I would like to go through every film, talk a bit about each one, and rank them from worst to first. Let us not doddle any longer and show off the worst of the bunch.



12.) JASON GOES TO HELL: THE FINAL FRIDAY (1993)

The rightfully lowest of the low, even by 'Friday the 13th' standards, 'Jason Goes To Hell' is complete trash on every level. Director Adam Marcus comes off to me as very condescending and smug, and the way he discusses this film cements it for me. He says he wanted to be different than the others, but what he ended up doing was the same thing just more generic, sloppy, dumb, and without its main attraction on display until the ending. This movie sucks.



 11.) FRIDAY THE 13TH PART VIII: JASON TAKES MANHATTAN (1989)

 False advertising is only the tip of the iceberg with 'Jason Takes Manhattan'. The real issue with this film is it is boring, really boring. This is an hour and a half long slasher film with the weakest kills (even before MPAA cuts) and one of the laziest Jason designs I've seen. I can't even recall much about this film other than the opening song is kickass (Darkest Side of the Night by Metropolis). Kane Hodder is an awesome Jason, but why was he in every terrible film in the franchise?




 10.) JASON X (2002)

 Now this film is divisive to be sure. Don't be fooled, it's terrible (like SyFy channel bad) and its a waste of time for most 'Friday' fans, however it's MUCH more entertaining than 'Jason Goes To Hell'. The film is so insane and stupid that its impossible not to find at least a sort of Mystery Science Theater vibe towards it. A great party movie, grab a case and laugh your ass off at 'Jason X'.



9.) FRIDAY THE 13TH PART VII: THE NEW BLOOD (1988)

The ratings board censorship ruined this one here folks, which is why I won't place it SO low on this list. It's not a bad idea for a 'Friday the 13th' sequel, however with all the special effects essentially removed and only the finale to look forwards to, it really makes this film a big disappointment. This was the first film I watched because it was the one with all the hype. What movie were they watching?


8.) FREDDY VS. JASON (2003)

Whoa boy, was this film hyped up. I don't think in my young years had I ever seen a horror film get this much media attention and it payed off for New Line Cinema, but for the fans...we were left with something bittersweet. The sweet comes from the first viewing of the film, the bitter from the film getting worse with each watch after. Still, it's not even close to the worst of the franchise, but its lost its muster.


7.) FRIDAY THE 13TH REMAKE (2009)

A squeaky clean, average run-of-the-mill slasher film that's to be expected by Michael Bay's Platinum Dunes...except its the best of those films. This remake has a lot of problems with its bad characters (even for this franchise), its rather unimaginative kills, and its overly polished atmosphere. However, the film has many big positives to it such as the opening sequence, Jason himself, and watching every single douche bag in this film die horribly. Not perfect by any stretch, but still more enjoyable than others.


6.) FRIDAY THE 13TH PART V: A NEW BEGINNING (1985)

I will admit I hated this film and joined in with the pitchforks and the torches until recently, but part V entertains me so much now that I watch it more often than some of even the best sequels. It's just so ridiculous that it attracts you like a magnet, with crazy people like Ethel & Demon. I also just love the grindhouse atmosphere this one has. Its sleazy vibe works well for it and puts me in the right mood. Yes, Jason is not the killer however even with that knowledge the film is still a 'Friday' film in look and feel.


5.) FRIDAY THE 13TH (1980)

Unfortunately, the original film has not aged well at all. I don't think it was really meant to however, even creator Sean Cunningham & writer Victor Miller admitted that the film was merely a cash-in on 'Halloween'. So why is it that the other films are so much better in retrospect? I think perhaps its their one-upping of each other, bringing the franchise over-the-top and to such high levels of lunacy that its impossible to forget them. 'Friday Part One' however is strictly based in reality and as such feels like a standard mystery film. The film still wins major points for the amazing Betsy Palmer and isn't a bad film to watch at all. I mostly feel that most fans would not choose this one as their go-to film.


4.) FRIDAY THE 13TH PART VI: JASON LIVES (1986)

'Jason Lives' is just plain fun. This one has a strong energy to it, making me feel like that rebellious young teen again (similar to 'Return of the Living Dead'). Jason is now a zombie and with that comes some insane powers and clever kills. The dark humor also works with the film, giving a feeling of those old monster movies you used to watch late at night. Director Tom McLoughlin was inspired by old Universal Monsters Films, being shown perfectly with Jason Voorhees being resurrected by a lightning bolt. The soundtrack by Alice Cooper is also great! Man, this one is so awesome!

3.) FRIDAY THE 13TH PART 3-D (1982)

Another really fun one, this time we have a gimmick to sell the third outing of Crystal Lake's favorite resident. Unfortunately, with the 3D not being available in a good format its hard to know whether or not it really changes anything with this film. It is still fun on its own though, with the characters being really fun and likeable, one of Jason's best incarnations (also his first time with the infamous mask), some fun kills thanks to the 3D (the eye-popping scene being so iconic it wound up in the upcoming video game), and overall a great sequel that was meant to cap off the franchise. You would have heard no complaints from me here.

2.) FRIDAY THE 13TH PART II (1981)

The Body Count Continues...and the first sequel to the franchise gets everything right and sets up a future no one knew it would have. This 'Friday' film hands down has the best female heroine in this franchise and slasher film history (even more than Jamie Lee). Amy Steel's Ginny is not just a stereotype, she has flaws and positives about her character, she gets scared but knows when to defend herself and stand up and fight, and she feels like a real human being not a cardboard cut-out. The tagline's body count are all serviceable, with some unexpected characters either spared or killed off. Jason looks alright, however he is not quite there yet still though very creepy. This one's a keeper.


1.) FRIDAY THE 13TH: THE FINAL CHAPTER (1984)














Hands down the best film in the franchise. Corey Feldman, Crispin Glover, Tom Savini special effects, great kill scenes, one of the best Jason performances, and overall the film just feels quick and smooth paced with rapid fire scenes that keep the momentum and your entertainment going a mile a minute. Greatest film in the franchise, no doubt in my mind.